Beyond Intractability: A Free Knowledge Base on More Constructive Approaches to Destructive Conflict
Introduction:
Nancy Farrell, private mediator and trainer, talks about the way in which people
tend to devalue differences. When there is disagreement, we tend to think that we are right and to discount those with opposing views.
This rough transcript provides a text alternative to audio. We apologize for occasional errors and unintelligible sections (which are marked with ???).
Differences
Nancy Ferrell
Private mediator and trainer
My feeling is
that the standard psychology is, if you differ with me, one of us is wrong, and
it's not me, so I've got to either dismiss you, convince you of my perspective,
or move away from you. As a general culture we haven't taught people to say,
"Help me understand who you are. Let me help you understand who I am and
let's see if we can value that, rather than devalue it." So differences
have been devalued. If I differ with you then in order for me to feel okay still
about myself I've got to devalue you or convince you I'm right, one or the
other.
It belongs to the very substance of nonviolence never to destroy or damage another person's feeling of self worth, even an opponent's. We all need, constantly, an advance of trust and affirmation. -- Bernard Haring
Featured Links Organizations Making Noteworthy Contributions to Efforts to Promote More Constructive Conflict CARE
Other Resources from Beyond Intractability Taming Intractable Conflicts The trick for the mediator is identifying what conflicts it pays to become involved in, how to go about it, and when. Crocker et al. explore some limitations and pitfalls for mediators and go on to suggest how they may most effectively contribute at different stages of the conflict.
Nobel Peace Prize Winners
Mohamed Anwar al-Sadat Former President of the Arab Republic of Egypt, and 1978 Nobel Peace Laureate
The Beyond Intractability Knowledge Base Project Guy Burgess and Heidi Burgess, Co-Directors and Editors c/o Conflict Information Consortium(Formerly Conflict Research Consortium), University of Colorado Campus Box 580, Boulder, CO 80309 Phone: (303) 492-1635; Fax: (303) 492-2154; Contact
