Transforming Interpersonal Conflicts: A Guide for Intermediaries

Beyond Intractability checklists offer users involved in various conflict situations lists of things to think about, along with links to sections of Beyond Intractability that relate to each item. Intermediaries working on interpersonal conflicts might want to consider the following questions.

• Identify Stakeholders
  Have you identified all the stakeholders (or potential stakeholders) involved in this conflict?

  For more information about this topic, see: Parties to Intractable Conflict, Disputants, Leaders, Stakeholder Representatives

• Clarify Goals
  Are you clear about the parties' underlying goals and interests?

  For more information about this topic, see: Setting Goals, Interests, Integrative or Interest-Based Bargaining, Distributive Bargaining, Positional Bargaining, Creating and Claiming Value, Underlying Causes of Intractable Conflict; Frames, Framing and Reframing

• Determine the Conflict Stage
  Is the conflict latent, developing, or fully escalated? Has it become intractable? Is the conflict ripe for resolution or do the parties involved feel it is in their best interest to continue with the status quo?

  For more information about this topic, see: Conflict Stages, Nature of Intractability, Ripeness

• History
  Do you understand the history of this conflict, including the underlying issues that led to it?

  For more information on this topic, see: Underlying Causes of Conflict

• Unrightable Wrongs
  Does the conflict involve a history of unrightable wrongs? Are you aware of options for transforming such conflicts?

  For more information on this topic, see: Transformation, Apology and Forgiveness, Trauma Healing, Reconciliation

• Misunderstandings
  Do you know how much of the conflict might be attributable to misunderstandings? If not, do you know how to set up a communication process that might be able to answer this question? And, do you know how to set up a communication process that might limit these misunderstandings?

  For more information on this topic, see: Misunderstandings, Channels of Communication, In-Depth Communication, Cross-Cultural Communication, Large-Scale Communication, Interpersonal - Small-Scale Communication

• Emotional and Psychological Dimensions
  Do you know to what extent the parties' responses are due to emotional and psychological dimensions such as anger, fear or prejudice? Do you know what is causing these reactions and how to address them?

  For more information on this topic, see:

  Psychological Dynamics, Ethos of Conflict , Prejudice, Anger, Fear, Distrust, Guilt and Shame, Humiliation, Face

• Fact-Finding
  Do you know how much of the conflict is attributable to disagreements regarding the basic facts? If not, do you know how to set up communication processes that might be able to answer this question? And, do you know how to set up joint fact-finding processes that might limit factual disagreements?

  For more information on this topic, see: Fact-Finding, Factual Disputes, Uncertainty, Obtaining Trustworthy Information, Distinguishing Facts from Values

• Escalation
  Do you know how much of the conflict is attributable to escalation and polarization? Have you developed and implemented effective steps to limit or reverse this effect?

  For more information on this topic, see: Escalation, Constructive Escalation, Polarization, Limiting Escalation - De-escalation

• Coalition Building / Conflict Minimization
  For each of the various stakeholders likely to be involved in the conflict, have you considered ways of reducing opposition to their efforts while simultaneously strengthening their networks of allies and supporters?

  For more information on this topic, see: Coalition Building, Empowerment, Power Inequities

• Intervention Options
  Are you familiar with the different options for intervening in an interpersonal conflict?

  For more information on this topic, see: Intervention Processes-Overview, Mediation, Consensus Building, Policy Dialogue, Arbitration, Adjudication

• Culture and Conflict
  Are cultural misunderstandings contributing to the conflict? Are there differences between the parties in things like nationality, language, gender or age? Do you know some strategies for overcoming cultural differences?

  For more information about this topic, see: Culture and Conflict, Culture-Based Negotiation Styles, Cross-Cultural Communication, Communication Tools for Understanding Cultural Differences, Women in Intractable Conflict

• Persuasion
  Do you have a strategy for explaining the stakeholders' goals and actions to each other? For persuading them that the other stakeholders' goals are reasonable and equitable?

  For more information on this topic, see: Channels of Communication, In-Depth Communication, Persuasion, Reframing

• Trust
  Have you been able to help the parties build trust with each other?

  For more information on this topic, see: Trust and Trust Building, Managing Interpersonal Trust and Distrust, Limiting Escalation - De-escalation, Humanization of Extremists

• Power / BATNAs
  Are you clear about the nature of power and how it affects the parties' alternatives to a negotiated agreement? Are you clear about the powers available to other stakeholders? Have you been able to demonstrate to people the powers that the parties are willing to use to defend their interests? (Here you should consider legal, political, and economic power as well as the ability to resist violent assaults.)

  For more information on this topic, see: Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA), Understanding Power, Coercive Power, Exchange Power, Integrative Power, Nonviolence, Power Inequities, Empowerment

• Violence
  If the conflict becomes violent, do you have a strategy for de-escalating the violence? Is it possible for you to prevent the violence or is there anything you can do to decrease the suffering caused by it?

  For more information on this topic, see: Interpersonal Conflict and Violence, Violence

• Dispute Systems Design
  Do you expect a continuing series of similar disputes? Do you know about options for developing a system for the handling of routine disputes?

  For more information on this topic, see: Designing New Dispute Resolution Systems

• The Future
  Have you envisioned a more constructive way of dealing with this conflict in the future?

  For more information on this topic, see: Envisioning